13.12.11

thank you

I decided to pay attention to how I receive things and how it's different depending on who's giving.
I think a lot of the time, as a child, mum bribed me to do something that I didn't want to do (being good or quiet in a public place like the grocery store) by giving me some kind of treat (like a donut). (not to be mean to my mum, lots of parents do this, because it usually works.)
This means I feel like I need to reward myself for doing anything difficult, and I know other people do this too. it also means when I receive anything good (for no reason; a gift of love) I feel undeserving or an expectation that the gift is from someone who wants me to do something I don't want to do. this also sounds a lot like the way the gospel story talks about "the gift of Jesus" and I always felt awkward about that too. because with gifts, I feel like I owe the giver something in return.
I'm not sure why, because when I give something, I just want the receiver to enjoy and appreciate it and feel loved. I give things and time to people I like.
so I want to be able to receive gifts with this in mind. to say thank you and appreciate the thought. and remember that a lot of people don't need more stuff so the gift of time is a good one. a lot of my friends are super generous. I mostly like giving friends things I don't need anymore that I think they'd like. I like to make simple things for people (handwritten notes) and like getting these too. this time of year I always feel like the whole commercial part of Christmas is silly. I haven't been giving (new store bought) Christmas gifts for most of my life. and no one has complained so far.

2 comments:

  1. I love this blog post. I wonder how many other people feel the same way and just don't know how to explain it this well.

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  2. Great post, Liss.

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